I feel sick,
Unlike any other illness but, it’s just kind of unusual circumstances. I don’t know how this is started, I just know when.
Well first, let me tell you about myself. I’m always pleading myself about being anti-mainstream. I know, that is so immature and hipster-stuff but, what can I say ? That is just, me. It’s hard to be this kind of guy, don’t judge. This isn’t an obsession like, to be popular. In fact, I hate being popular. And let’s say I’m a.. collector. I love collecting things. Like, my shelf’s full of vinyl albums ! 10″ stuffs, Gold Editions of course, mostly that manufactured in the 1950s and early 1960s. That’s the years of albums that has the highest price. You can google that. I mean, who’s listening to them nowadays anyway ? This is weird but, I love things that you can’t even find anywhere in the world. Everything to be anti-mainstream. Not just these albums. Everything I will do to get those things.
In other words, I’m collecting stuff that you DON’T have.
So, my indisposition,
This started after the incident, the worst night, the most horrible night. When some kind of man came into my house and murdered my parents. Them heads chopped off from the body and somehow I found them in my room in the morning. But I’m safe without a scratch. The killer doesn’t seemed interested in me. That was fortunate but still, very strange. And like any other killing-related and crime stories, the slayer never seemed to be found.
That was 5 months ago. Now, I’m living with my lovely fiance in a sweet little house. We had some fight recently, she told me earlier that she doesn’t want to live with me. But yeah, I did it, with some sweet talk and flattery. Girls loved that. She still getting used to the idea of us living together. She doesn’t like to move or talk much. But, we are happy. And we shouldn’t lost in a moment and had to move on from this, right ?
But even I moved out somewhere else far away from there, the sick feeling never nearly ends. I never had a good taste in food ever since, and ended up with throwing up instead, particularly breakfast. I’m just don’t feel hungry. Like, I’d NEVER feel like to eat again.
What I believe is, the incident was too intense for me that make me feel unpleasant all of the time. I mean, they were my parents, who wouldn’t ?
But this sickness, is too much for me. I can’t eat food like I used to. I know I’m not hungry but you know, the desire to eat delicious scrambled eggs and cakes. But yet the scent making me sick. And the other thing is, sometimes I could smell something slab, overtime. Especially when there are people near me, on the crowd or just sitting beside some guy at the bar. I couldn’t describe that, it’s just kind of unusual smell but I swear it’s very familiar for me. Otherwise, I’m always feeling so damn tired in every morning. I know, I used to cry almost in the every evening, thoughts about losing my parents, homeland. But I’m sure I went to bed afterwards. And it shouldn’t have to be like this. Every morning feels like hell, so exhausted and sleepy. This came to my works and performance that didn’t result fine, and my boss is furious. I know that this is a new job for me after I decided to moving out, but still. I’ve tried to talk to him about the reason I didn’t give much contribution into the company. I’m fucking dead tired overtime. But he’s just being a dick. He’s not very grateful about my reason yet called me a slug.
I HATE HIM
One of my co-worker suggested me to do some general check-ups at the central hospital. So last week I went there to check up my health and my medical history. The doctor said I’m fine, the morning fatigue won’t be a thing, if I can just decrease my night activities.
That is silly. I never thought about doing something in the night. This has no point.
At least that’s what I believe.
So, I went to bed a little early tonight.
This evening is so beautiful. Calm neighborhood night, everyone at their state of peaceful dream, even the moon shines so bright and big and.. very gorgeous. I could feel the smell of cold dirt and grass, and the lovely chant of crickets.
This night reminds me of some previous episodes from my life.
I woke up this morning,
And something really drawing my attention in my mind after. The exhaustion as always, but really damn intense as I could barely take a sit at the edge of my bed. I rub my lazy eyelid, tried to clearly see around my room.
And the following sights is something like a torso, laying in my room with it’s head chopped off. Blood stained everywhere.
It’s my boss’s
I’m casually leaned back towards my bed, setting up my turntables beside it.
The plate said “The Valquins – Falling Star, Minnesota Records, 1959″.
What a magnificent music I would say.
Contemplating about the occurrence in front of me,
Doubtless it’s gonna be my new lovely collection.
Good Time For Ocarina 