what a day

the day to fulfill my anxiousness. the day of the answer of my lifetime demanding
it’s not a good day, though it’s not a bad day either
just, unlucky
or maybe not enough fighting for
I don’t know
what do I know ?

I don’t even know where I’m head to right now
About this stuff nor about my own feeling
all that I know that I USED to have such the best feeling ever
a feeling to gain my everyday spirit, and vitality
who told me to get up after being smacked by reality. who raised my bravery to face my fears
who held my hands when I walked in the darkness. who snapped me out of my tears
who waved at me when I need companion. who caught me when I slipped
who I thought..
that you’re everything for me

I don’t even care about your non-perfect stuff. like, why should I ?
when I looked into your eyes, I just saw happiness
it was like wiped away all of my past sorrows
and brought it all back in front of me by become the most grateful and treasure moments
like, bringing my wilted flowers come blooming and be the first witnessing the summer comes
then the sun rises from it’s dwelling and come smiling at it’s most gracious at me

and all of that just, gone
like poof and going nope

them feelings just fell at full speed into the deepest pit of the abyss
like the gravity’s too high at this point and all I could do is screaming, the loudest yet the most silence scream ever. a scream from my heart
a scream that no one could hear
even you
or I’m just not welcoming the sadness into me when I looked at you

because It’s NOT your fault


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